"Emeka is dead" mother broke the news. I couldn't believe it, our land lord's son who was full of life. I was only gone for a little time, how did it happen? I asked. "They said he commited suicide", my younger brother replied.
Mother was very sure its some witches or forces from their village that had pushed him into taking his own life, if not how else do you explain it that a young man full of life could kill himself, we argued over Emeka's death and what could have caused him to make such a drastic decision for the few weeks i stayed. My brother said maybe it was someone that killed him and then made it look like suicide since he was found after some days dangling from his ceiling fan.
I couldn't argue much that Emeka might have been depressed all the while before contemplating suicide. No one else besides me knew that a friend of mine at the time was also suffering from series of depression because she had a broken relationship and i haven't been finding it easy at all helping and acting as counselor even though we had to hide under the guise that everything was cool.
Well after i got hold of life and my friend snapped out of depression after seeking medical help. I reflected back to Emeka and the little time i knew him, he was a graduate with a good result, we spoke a couple of times whenever he came home and i realized he had been out of school for so long with no job and business wasn't his thing even when he tried. The youngman didn't look too happy the last time i saw him but i didn't know how frustrated he had become, if only he had poured out his heart, maybe he would have gotten help and would still be alive today.....
Depression as defined by Merriam webster is a psyconeurotic and psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hoplessness and sometimes suicidal tendencies. A lot of celebrities suffer depression too, most people can't handle scandals, financial crises, rape, abuse, unemployment and unfortunately they fall into depression.
This is the ordeal of many young Nigerians, even parents don't help matters, some would always tell you how successful your mates have become while you are here asking them for money when you are supposed to be bringing home, people are driven into frustration and they lapse into been depressed and are still expected to live as though everything was alright, as though nothing bothered them and they just had to hustle or else....
I don't know how bad it gets but a young man i just met recently told me he had to take up a job where he receives salary that is not even enough for his transportation just so he can leave the house before he falls into depression, he also told me he had gotten a better offer before the new job but he declined because there were unrealistic conditions attached to the job and he would have been frustrated doing it which contributes greatly to depressive episodes.
Most Nigerians are living two lives, in the public, they are assumed as happy and have everything going well with them because we have been wired to look and act like normal even in the midst of our problems choking us and we have been wired to always believe "it's well" even when we know we need help but in the dark we are sober and glommy and thinking, hearing voices and contemplating easy ways to overcome our fears and dejection.... The major thing that leads many into attempting suicide!
Just like Emeka, many people can't handle depression or get help. Some hide it because no one would even listen to them or believe them, its a sad turn of event because while we think we are enlightened enough, a lot of people around us are down with depression but we don't know because we have been groomed to encourage the "two faced" life.
Ifunanya Ononiwu (c) 2016
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